Interstellar Part 2: The 2008 Original Script vs The Final Movie

And now ANOTHER word from the ever passionate and perceptive Levin Menekse!

Hello everyone,

My last post on the Good and the Bad of Interstellar garnered interesting, pretty polarizing reactions. I got a lot of flack from the fans of the movie for not "getting" the movie. So as an intellectual who obsesses over "getting things", I went down a rabbit hole of research to make sure I understood everything that culminated with me reading the original 2008 draft of Interstellar.

This is pretty much what I look like in real life.

Initially set up to be directed by Spielberg, the 2008 draft is both more adventurous (cute aliens!) and darker in tone (oh boy, that ending) than the final movie. What I want to do in this post is not to simply contrast the two versions, but also try to figure out why those changes to the screenplay were made and if they were effective.

As those in the industry know, screenplays go through many, many drafts before they are shot and the differences between the original script and the final product are usually immense. (Check out Sean's great blog post about this phenomenon here.) What makes Interstellar a special case though is that this wasn't your usual "Studio Meddling", this was Christopher Nolan coming in and rewriting the entire thing. This was a visionary genius who nobody could say no to.

So, let's take a look at the differences and whether if they were good changes or not. (Honestly, most of them are in the grey area, so those of you who love the movie and Christopher Nolan -- you can put down your pitchforks.)

Just so we're clear: I love Nolan's movies. The saying goes: "It takes a hundred talented people to make one bad movie." Nolan made four legitimately great movies and the guy is only 45 years old. But, if you're especially bloodthirsty, I'm sure we can spar back and forth about which 4 of his movies are "great".

A Sense of Adventure (2008) vs A Desperate Journey Against Extinction (2014)

The 2008 script is a fun movie, no wonder Spielberg was interested in directing it. There is still a sense of desperation as the Earth is dying and Cooper still feels guilty about leaving Murphy behind, but there's no agonizing goodbye scene. There is no Michael Caine reciting epic poems or Matt Damon being super, super sad. The scene where Cooper watches the old messages of his kids is still there but Murphy actually makes peace with Cooper's absence, so Cooper feels more sad than guilty.

In the script, instead of the Water Planet and the Ice Planet -- there is only one planet that has ALIENS IN IT. And while they are initially terrifying, they end up being E.T. level cute and playful. They are these fractal beings that constantly break down their matter and fuse it back up and they can be as big as a forest or as little as a cat. At some point, Brand takes one of them with her and the creature basically hangs around until the end, doing cute stuff.

Plus, instead of our foes being broken human beings and crazy environments-- our foes are... wait for it... Chinese robot soldiers! No, seriously. They're basically Chinese versions of Tars and Case who arrived to this planet first and now want our American expedition group out. So Case gets into a robot-brawl with them in order to rescue a machine that can manipulate gravity... and so on.

You get the idea. This fits in with the Spielberg version of this movie, but when Nolan got on board, I bet he wanted to make something more unique and weighty. There is definitely a sense of existential desperation in Nolan's version, a great weight to the journey. In terms of antagonism, it's mostly Man vs Nature -- or Man vs The Universe, in this case -- which really makes the movie feel like this is the Human Kind doing their best to survive against all odds. The two human antagonistic forces -- Tom to Murphy, Mann to Our Team -- are motivated by sadness and hopelessness, which paints them as a flip side to the "hope-against-all-odds" Cooper and Brand.

The best way I can describe the tonal difference is that I can see a theme ride being made from the 2008 version -- you go through the alien planet, fight with robots, cute aliens do crazy shit... But you really can't make a theme ride from the final movie.

This is a real "Interstellar Amusement Park Ride" which could be yours for only 12k!

Central Emotion Spine -- Brand (2008) vs Murphy (2014)

The Brand - Cooper relationship is the central relationship of the 2008 version. Their chemistry is rather typical: The buttoned up, rational Brand doesn't initially like the rebellious Cooper but, as the time goes on, the two warm up to each other and have sex. The big "choice" of Cooper at the end of the movie is between staying with Brand and possibly going back in time to join with his family. Which isn't strong at all because of course Cooper is going to choose to go back to his family.

What's interesting is that we barely see Murphy in the 2008 version. Once we're with Cooper in space, we stay there. There are no scenes with him (in the 2008 version she's a boy) and he only becomes a bigger part of the story in the third act -- and that's independent of Cooper. There is no "ghost" stuff in this version and Murphy never even gets to meet Cooper again!

I think Nolan made the right call here. Rearranging the emotional axis to Murphy and Cooper gives a poignant undertone to the movie because she's the sacrifice Cooper had to make. Plus, their relationship is different than the predictable Cooper - Brand romance, which feels organic but non-consequential.

That being said, in my humble opinion, Nolan also went about doing this in a way that wasn't completely successful.

"Not completely successful, you say? You're an amusing chap, aren't you?" 

Makes Sense (2008) Vs Unbounded Ambition That... Doesn't? (2014)

Focusing on the Cooper - Murphy relationship allows Interstellar to be an epic but intimate movie. The climax, after all, is set in both a massive, 5 dimensional tesseract but also in a little girl's bedroom. However, Nolan uses this story device of the "ghost" in order to make this happen and while this addition is smart, I believe it needed another pass to be completely embedded into the fabric of the movie. As it is, the delicate balance of the script has been tampered with by these modifications and these changes are at the root of Interstellar's larger logical/story problems. Let me explain:

The 2008 version is much more straightforward. Instead of the "Ghost" directing them to the NASA base, Cooper finds a drone with those coordinates. When he takes the drone to the NASA base, he fixes something for them that they hadn't realized was fixable. So they ask him on board because he's a crazy good engineer who is really good at fixing things. Pretty straightforward.

This drone also functions in a similar way to the tesseract in the final movie as it's revealed that the future-Cooper was the one who sent this drone the past. After Cooper leaves on his mission, Murphy tinkers with this drone to find that it actually contains the instructions on how to build the "gravity machine" and saves everyone, similar to how Cooper gives the "gravity equation" to Murphy in the final movie.

I think Nolan realized that he can use this idea of a "ghost" to have the father-daughter communicate directly. However, this approach engenders logical problems. For example, this "ghost" brings them to the NASA base and Cooper is recruited in because "you're our best pilot!"... which makes no sense because if he was their best pilot, then why didn't they try to recruit him beforehand? "Oh, because we thought you were dead", Michael Caine states and that's that. Changing Cooper into a pilot also makes the scenes of him tinkering with stuff feel unnecessary. In the 2008 version, that's his "superpower", so to speak, so of course it makes sense that we would see him fix stuff in the 1st act. But in the 2014 movie, Cooper's superpower is his piloting skills -- which renders the scenes of him fixing stuff rather redundant.

Similarly, the "gravity machine" is replaced by this equation Murphy solves at the end of the movie. In the 2008 script, this machine is built by the Chinese Robots who, due to a time anomaly, had 4000 years to work and advanced technology as we know it to unimaginable heights. I really love that concept -- the "treasure" Chinese Robots keep talking about turn out to be, simply, 4000 years worth of time -- and I think it works with the themes and the iconography of the piece.

I was mighty underwhelmed by the way the "gravity equation" worked in the movie. It was vague, felt like a shortcut and it wasn't visual at all. As a result, I couldn't get behind the climactic sequence of the movie and it's one of the reasons why I don't think the climax of the movie works that well.

WHAT? GET HIM! DEATH TO THE NOLAN HATER!

The Ending That Destroys (2008) vs The Ending That is... at least somewhat Hopeful (2014)

The 2008 version sails along with that playful Spielberg tone until the very end when shit turns DARK. Cooper arrives to a dead, cold Earth and accepts his death. He's rescued at the last minute and brought to the space station... where he's told Murphy is long, long dead. He meets one of Murphy's descendants and the descendant gives Cooper the watch he gave to Murphy at the beginning of the movie. Then Cooper, emotionally destroyed, says he wants to be useful but the people venerate him to such a point that he's not allowed to do anything. He's stuck tending to a farm, his worst nightmare. And then he steals the ship and goes after Brand... but it's desperate and soul crushingly sad.

The ending to the movie is much, much better. For all its faults, the movie absolutely nails its last ten minutes once Cooper is rescued. Having Cooper meet Murphy is infinitely more satisfying than the alternative.

That being said, the changes Christopher Nolan made to justify the ending, again, tamper the balance of the script. These little changes he made almost creates a domino effect that engenders the parts of the movie I couldn't connect with. For example, in order to make the Cooper-Murphy reunion feel as climactic as possible, Nolan makes Murphy into someone who couldn't, for 15+ years, get over the fact that her father went on a desperate mission to save Mankind. You would think that after some time she would grow to appreciate her father and his sense of duty. This doesn't happen so that the reunion scene at the end could have the largest impact, and, as a result Murphy as a character is rather one note and hard to relate with.

Weirdly, this also effects Brand's character. Because now Cooper's primary relationship is with Murphy, Brand is relegated to having a lover in one of the three planets. This results in her giving the goofiest speech in the movie about how they should travel to that particular planet despite it being the worst choice because... "love is awesome". This domino piece hits the next one and all of a sudden you have two hysterical women who are supposed to be scientists but acting irrationally because... emotions?

Ultimately: The lesson to take away from all this is that you can't change little things without affecting the larger structure of your story.

Writers, producers, directors, actors: When you give notes or modify something in the script, it affects the entire project. You rewrite a scene, it affects the sequence. You rewrite a sequence, it might affect the entire story. And you might need to go through your script a few times to make sure everything lands properly and makes sense. No shortcuts. You're asking people to give their time to you, extend the same courtesy to them by working on your project a bit more until it's truly great.

Well, hope you enjoyed reading this blog post. See you next time,

Levin

A New Class at USC

I recently tweeted the the whiteboards of a class I teach to graduate students at USC. The picture was clipped ant the point a bit obscure, so here is the full picture with an explanation.

The Story

A story is about someone who wants something very badly and is having trouble getting it.

More precisely, we discussed each story in terms of each piece of this definition. "A story is..."

"About someone..."  Whose story is it?  Through whose eyes, and more importantly through whose emotions do we experience the story? Who takes the actions that drive the story forward? This is the first big choice the storyteller must make, and there is always more than one answer.

"...who wants something..."  What does this protagonist want? What primary desire is forcing him/her/them to take action? Whether or not they get it is the DRAMATIC QUESTION that the story tracks and ultimately answers.

"...very badly..." Why does s/he want it so much?  What's going to happen if he/she DOESN'T get it?  This defines the STAKES of your story.

"...but is having trouble getting it."  What are the obstacles? Who is the antagonist, or what are the antagonistic forces that is keeping the protagonist from getting what s/he/they want?

Telling the Story

Once, these basic (but difficult!) questions are answered, we can take a shot at telling the story.  Brian McDonald, in both his blog and book Invisible Ink, claims that all effective stories have the basic structure of a fairy tale:

Once upon a time_____________
And every day________________
Until one day_________________
And because of this___________
And because of this___________
And because of this___________
Until finally__________________
And ever since that day_______

Does a fairy tale template seem too simplistic for your grown-up, complex story?  It's not.  Even three hour epics like The Godfather can be told this way.

1. Once upon a time there was a Godfather who ran a family business.
2. And every day the Godfather did favors and got favors in return.
3. Until one day, the Godfather did not grant a favor, and the snubbed rival tried to kill him.
4. And because of this the Godfather's sons took over the family business: Sonny started a war and Michael killed the rival.
5. And because of this Michael was exiled and Sonny was murdered in the war.
6. And because of this The Godfather made peace.
7. And because of this Micheal returned to take his father’s place, but the family was weakened by the Godfather’s sickness and eventual death.
8. Until finally the rival family bosses turned against Michael, and so Michael killed each and every one.
9. And ever since that day Michael was the new Godfather.

What we want to avoid when getting a general idea of our story is a series of disconnected events. "And then this happens, and then this happens, and then this happens." Telling a story as fairy tale beats forces the writer to think of the narrative as a chain of cause-and-effect driven by the choices of the protagonist.

Take a shot at telling your story in this way.

Hope and Fear

Legendary screenwriter teacher Frank Daniel taught us to continually orient the the audiences' emotions towards the future: the audience HOPES for one turn of events, while FEARING another. The basis of dramatic tension is anticipation. We let the audience know what potentially could happen, good and bad, and lead them to believe that either outcome is entirely possible.

Writing The Feature Script: Week Three - The Treatment

Over the course of 15 weeks I will be teaching "Writing The Feature Script" at USC's School of Cinematic Arts. Week by week I will be writing blog articles about each topic that we discuss in class.  However, because I spent two weeks in Calgary (working an MTV movie, The Dorm), I've had to take a hiatus from writing the blog.  Don't worry, I'm back!

This is a synopsis of Week Three.  You can read about our previous classes here:

Writing The Feature Script: Week One - OVERVIEW
Writing The Feature Script: Week Two -Finding the Story

So if you skim through this article you'll see that I've attached examples of beat sheets and treatments that I've written over the years.  They are all flawed, first-stab-in-the-dark attempts to realize a particular story.  Most are from less-than-prestigious projects that were none-the-less difficult to figure out.  I share them with you specifically because their format and approach serves a particular purpose.  Their ragged edges just underscore that screenwriting is a process of discovery, and you will rarely find everything you are looking for in the first pass.

In other words, if the first attempt at your treatment seems convoluted and hopeless, don't worry; everybody's does, to one degree or another.  The only "perfect treatments" are written about classic movies AFTER they have  been completed - AFTER a long process of revision in which the structure emerged.

Did you know that the first draft of Annie Hall was a drama centered on a murder mystery with a comic and romantic subplot?  Did you know that the shooting script for Punch Drunk Love, the love interest Lena was an Alien?  (I know this from having talked to set dressers who worked on the film.)

In fact, before you set out to write your beat sheet, consider this: one of the most "perfect" screenplays ever written is Chinatown. It has been analyzed thousands and thousands of times in screenwriting classes and textbooks. However, the first first draft of Chinatown was 178 pages long; screenwriter Robert Towne took 9 months to finish it saying that "...the writing of it was just tough: writing scenario, after scenario, after scenario was just so complicated that after a certain point, I thought I’d never get through it." Producer Robert Evans called the first draft brilliant but incomprehensible, and even Towne himself admitted that if the first draft had been shot, "it would have been a mess."  That "perfect beat sheet" that appears in screenplay books only emerged after a long process of restructuring, revision and clarification.  (See LA Times Article on the director/writer/producer collaboration in Chinatown.)

Then Why Write a Treatment?

A treatment is a tool for communication. There is no set format.  For me, the form is determined by what the treatment is supposed to communicate, and what kind of response the writer hopes to get from those who read it.  Sometimes I want feedback and notes, sometimes I just want a "yes" from someone so that I can start writing the script, and sometimes I just want to write it for myself, to try to make sense of my convoluted ideas.

The content of a treatment is basically the writer's first attempt to pin down the STORY STRUCTURE and identify key moments in the story such as the POINT OF ATTACK, the MIDPOINT, and 2ND ACT CULMINATION, using templates like Frank Daniel's SEQUENCE APPROACH.

(Other templates include Blake Snyder's BEAT SHEET and The Hero's Journey)

The important thing to remember here is that the story will change radically as the treatment is revised and multiple drafts of the script are written.  Almost all treatments have problems, and the purpose of the treatment is to take an initial crack at solving them.  The most common story problems at this point are.

1. Passivity. Generally speaking, we don't want a list of things that happen to the characters.  The story should be driven by characters DECISIONS and ACTIONS in pursuit of a goal.

2. Monotony. We want to avoid monotony by making sure the story is not just a list of disconnected events: and then this happens, and then this happens, and then this..." Instead, events should be linked in a series of BUT, THEREFORE (because of that), and MEANWHILE (for subplots.)  Storytellers as diverse as Trey Parker (see Six Days To Air), Randy Olsen (documentary filmmaker, author of Connection), and Frank Daniel himself have advocated going through one's story and replacing every AND with a BUT or THEREFORE.

In a lecture to students at AFI, Frank Daniel said, "If you don't have this 'but' and 'therefore' connection between the parts, the story becomes linear, monotonous, just narrative. Diaries and chronicles are written that way, but not scripts. There is no way of heightening the conflict and continuing the suspense in such a pattern."

In order for the story to have tension and conflict, the protagonist must face an escalating series of obstacles and each roadblock or complication that s/he faces must come as a result of the way s/he faced the previous obstacle.  In the Godfather, Michael doesn't want to be a man like his father, BUT his father is shot, THEREFORE, Michael has to kill the man who did it.  THEREFORE, a mob war starts. THEREFORE, Michael has to run away to Sicily where he starts a new life, BUT Michael's brother Sonny is shot... and so on, and so on...

Index Cards and Beat Sheets

A true BEAT SHEET is basically a bullet point list (or sometimes a numbered list) of all the major scenes and story beats in a movie (usually between 60 to 90 beats.)  Because beat sheets are so skeletal and boring to read, they are usually only used by the writers themselves, to hash things out.  They are usually shown only to collaborators who know the story intimately (a writing partner, a collaborative director, a professor.)

Here is a beat sheet for Toy Story 3, that identifies the Save The Cat structure in about 75 beats/bullet points.  TOY STORY BEAT SHEET.

Notice how the story beats follow cause and effect, with BUT and THEREFORE, and notice how each beat can be distilled in reference to characters ACTIONS and DECISIONS.

But, again, remember that this is an ANALYSIS of a finished movie.  There are hundreds of screenwriting books with analyses of thousands of famous films, all fitting them into one theory of structure or another.  But analyzing a movie at the end of a creative process is not the same as writing a story on the blank page. 

Your beat sheet will never look like the post-facto analysis of a "perfect" finished film.  If it does, you're doing it wrong.  Story structure emerges from a process that should highlight intuition and inspiration.  If you have the SAVE THE CAT STRUCTURE pinned to your computer while forming the story, or you are literally filling in blanks on a template sheet, you are driving while looking at your GPS map instead of the road.

STORY STRUCTURE and BEAT SHEETS are maps, not the territory itself.  Your story, and its beats, will emerge from a process of discovery, continual retelling, and revision.

The point of this blog article is to give you an idea of what real "first draft" treatments look like, with all their warts and cellulite, so that you don't expect your own to be "perfect" (like the Toy Story 3 beat sheet) the first time around. 

Think of your first beat sheet or treatment as an extremely plastic and protean document.  You are liable to change it over and over again, as you work on your story.  For that reason, rather than write my story beats down on paper, I tend to put them on INDEX CARDS.  

Index cards lend themselves to shifting around, crumpling up, and tagging with random post-its.  Sometimes a single card turns into an entire sequence.  Sometimes a moment that you thought was the END OF THE FIRST ACT, turns out to be a POINT OF ATTACK.  Sometimes whole subplots appear and disappear like phantoms.  Cards can be color-coded to track subplots, characters, and tension.  You can stand back and get a sense of your movie as a whole.

The idea is not to ask yourself  "What is my midpoint?" or "What's my 'Hightower Surprise.'"  You just start assembling the ideas you have for character actions and their consequences, adding evocative images and set pieces that excite you, seeing where those imaginative elements might fit in an overall structure, and looking for how those points might be sharpened and improved.  Play with those beats.  Move them around. Create them and throw them away.  The structure, in all its monomythical glory, will emerge.

Three Page Treatment

Often I write 3-5 page treatments.  These are written in prose form and usually contain a logline, a character list, and a short synopsis of the story.   I write these when I have a story idea that I'm not yet ready to write as a screenplay, but that I may want to show to a producer, executive, or agent in order to get them interested in the idea (i.e. I just want them to say "yes.")  These treatments need to be short and easy-to-read so that a non-writer can make the simple judgement, "Is this a good idea for a movie?"

Unlike a beat sheet, which I write for myself in order to expose story flaws and to inspire further re-thinking and rewriting, this short treatment is meant to "sell" the idea, so I try to make the story seem as airtight and compelling as possible (even though it's not, and I know that the actual screenwriting process will radically change it.)  It's okay to write these treatments with a little flourish if that helps define the movie.

Here's a story idea I showed around many years ago...

• Body Electric

The answer on Body Electric, for one reason or another, was "No, I don't see it as a movie." Perhaps you don't either.  But that's the point.  The format of this kind of treatment is written for a clear yes or no.

I might also write a three-page treatment when I have been hired on a project, but a powerful producer or director must "sign off" on a synopsis before I go to script.  These "higher-ups" rarely have much spare time or attention, so the goal of the treatment is to just summarize what I plan to write in a simple and easy-to-read way.  (Again, I'm hoping to get a "yes") Here is the synopsis I wrote for Rambo: Last Stand.

• Rambo:  Last Stand

When I wrote the Rambo script (which has since been discarded by the producers and Mr. Stallone) much of the story changed.  If I re-wrote the synopsis based on that screenplay, it would look much different.  If the script went through the usual rounds of rewrites, the story synopsis would look even MORE different.  And, if the movie were ever made (but there are no plans to make it) the story synopsis would have changed again.

In general, I don't write treatments in simple straightforward prose form that are longer than five pages.  Long treatments read like extremely pedestrian short stories, and they are rarely very entertaining.  However, some sort of longer format is often necessary...

The Extended Treatment

The extended treatment is a kind of hybrid of the beat sheet and a traditional treatment.  On the one hand, it has bullet points and bold simple sentences describing all the main beats of the story, like a beat sheet.  But these beats are fleshed out in a way that expands on characterization, setting, and other important details, like a prose treatment. The format is easy to read, but it is also easy to skim.

The point of the extended treatment is to get NOTES and FEEDBACK.  Those who read it are likely to be producers, executives, agents, directors, fellow writers in writing groups, and others who are collaborating closely in the writing process.  The bullet points allow the readers to skim for an overview of the structure, but also allow them to read closely and explore the finer details.  

I write these treatments to the best of my ability, but I allow warts and cellulite to show so that others can give me notes, ideas, and suggestions for improvement.  Again, the point is not to write it perfectly.  The point is to write it well enough so that it's possible to gather feedback.

The first draft is essentially a rewrite of the treatment and just another cycle in an ongoing  REWRITE PROCESS.  Here's an example of a treatment I wrote before embarking on a first draft:

• Nellie Bly (aka Blackwell)

My students who wrote treatments in this format were able to get rounds of very specific and cogent feedback from the 10 other screenwriters in the class.

Another way to write an extended treatment is to take your beat sheet and put it in Screenplay Format such that each beat/scene has its own slugline followed by a scene description. Most students like to write in this format because it's easy to transition from extended treatment to writing the screenplay. The disadvantage is that it isn't as lucid as the Hybrid Treatment above.

A Screenplay Format Treatment looks like this...

The Leave Behind

Often writers have to "pitch for writing assignments."  A production company or studio has a general idea of a movie they want to make, such as a sequel to Turistas or The Haunting in Connecticut, and a series of writers come in with their "take" on the material.

Sometimes when I pitch an idea for a sequel, remake, or adaptation, I give the executives listening to the pitch a "leave behind" which is a short synopsis of my "take."  The point of this document is to remind them of the story I've pitched so that they can discuss it later, and to provide extra details, like production illustrations (which I draw myself.)

Here is a treatment I wrote to try to land the job to write Turistas 2.  Ultimately, no writer was hired and the movie was never made. (probably for the best, no?)

• Turistas 2

Here is the treatment I wrote for The Haunting In New York. Notice how flashy I get with colors and pictures to try to convince the readers to give me the job.  As it turned out,  I got it, and I wrote the screenplay, but because The Haunting in Georgia did poorly at the box office, the series was abandoned and my script was never shot.

• The Haunting in New York

If you bother reading any of these documents, you'll no doubt be able to find all sorts of structural weakness, plot holes, and dumb ideas.  Again, other than just sharing the format, this is precisely why I'm showing them to you.

Treatments are your first draft of your first draft.  If you are engaging in the creative process in a dynamic and authentic way, your treatment will shimmer with inspiration and at the same time reveal unanticipated and daunting story problems.  And, that's right where you want to be!

If you write the "perfect treatment" according to SAVE THE CAT, THE SEQUENCE APPROACH, or the HERO'S JOURNEY, it is likely only "perfect" because you have filled in the blanks with hackneyed, easy, inauthentic, or implausible choices.  You can do better.  

Now get writing... and when you are finished with the treatment, show it to as many people as you can and find out just what those challenges are.

I write this blog in order to connect with intelligent, ambitious, and creative people. If you leave a comment, you will inspire me to write more. If you liked the article, please share it.

Writing The Feature Script: Week Two - Finding The Story

Over the course of 15 weeks I will be teaching "Writing The Feature Script" at USC's School of Cinematic Arts. Week by week I will be writing blog articles about each topic that we discuss in class. My hope is that beginning screenwriters, working screenwriters in writing groups, and screenwriting professors might benefit from "auditing" my class online.  

This is a synopsis of Week Two.  You can read about our previous class here:  Writing The Feature Script: Week One - OVERVIEW

A Writing Group

If you are indeed following this course week by week on my blog, and you want to get the most out of it, you need to do two things:  First you need to write a 1-2 page synopses of your story idea.  Second, you need to show that idea to at least three trusted people and get feedback. 

Ideally, you would join, or create, a writing group.  Screenwriting isn't something learned by reading a book or a blog; it's a process of telling, retelling, and revising pages with continual feedback from one's peers. Involving yourself creatively in other writers' projects, giving notes and work-shopping stories besides your own is far more valuable than learning "writing theory."  In class, my USC students get is an intense, impassioned, and supportive engagement with their work by nine other ambitious and talented students (as well as the TA and the instructor) every step of the way.  You should seek that out as well.

Ultimately, all writers need a group of trusted collaborators, fellow writers, and filmmakers with whom they share feedback.  Whether your aspire to be Ingmar Bergman or Brett Ratner, Kathryn Bigelow or Maya Deren, you need your inner circle.

The Story

Last week, students uploaded their synopses to a Dropbox file so that they all could read one another's work.  Most of the ideas, at this point, were fragmentary.  Students had imagined characters, conflicts, and worlds that deeply inspired them, but now they needed to take a first shot at putting these ideas in the form of a STORY.

So, we discussed and evaluated each idea in terms of the simplest definition of a story that I have encountered:

A story is about someone who wants something very badly and is having trouble getting it.

More precisely, we discussed each story in terms of each piece of this definition. "A story is..."

"About someone..."  Whose story is it?  Through whose eyes, and more importantly through whose emotions do we experience the story? Who takes the actions that drive the story forward? This is the first big choice the storyteller must make, and there is always more than one answer.

"...who wants something..."  What does this protagonist want? What primary desire is forcing him/her/them to take action? Whether or not they get it is the DRAMATIC QUESTION that the story tracks and ultimately answers.

"...very badly..." Why does s/he want it so much?  What's going to happen if he/she DOESN'T get it?  This defines the STAKES of your story.

"...but is having trouble getting it."  What are the obstacles? Who is the antagonist, or what are the antagonistic forces that is keeping the protagonist from getting what s/he/they want?

Telling the Story

Once, these basic (but difficult!) questions are answered, we can take a shot at telling the story.  Brian McDonald, in both his blog and book Invisible Ink, claims that all effective stories have the basic structure of a fairy tale:

Once upon a time_____________
And every day________________
Until one day_________________
And because of this___________
And because of this___________
And because of this___________
Until finally__________________
And ever since that day_______

Does a fairy tale template seem too simplistic for your grown-up, complex story?  It's not.  Even three hour epics like The Godfather can be told this way.

1. Once upon a time there was a Godfather who ran a family business.
2. And every day the Godfather did favors and got favors in return.
3. Until one day, the Godfather did not grant a favor, and the snubbed rival tried to kill him.
4. And because of this the Godfather's sons took over the family business: Sonny started a war and Michael killed the rival.
5. And because of this Michael was exiled and Sonny was murdered in the war.
6. And because of this The Godfather made peace.
7. And because of this Micheal returned to take his father’s place, but the family was weakened by the Godfather’s sickness and eventual death.
8. Until finally the rival family bosses turned against Michael, and so Michael killed each and every one.
9. And ever since that day Michael was the new Godfather.

What we want to avoid when getting a general idea of our story is a series of disconnected events. "And then this happens, and then this happens, and then this happens." Telling a story as fairy tale beats forces the writer to think of the narrative as a chain of cause-and-effect driven by the choices of the protagonist.

Take a shot at telling your story in this way.

Telling the Story Well

The last thing that we talked about was the idea of TENSION, which we will come back to again and again throughout the semester.  Good storytellers constantly engage the audience's emotions by orienting their attention to the future.  In the beginning of the story they stoke the audience's CURIOSITY by showing them intriguing characters and situations that they want to learn more about.  In the middle of the story, they lock the audience's attention by manipulating the audiences HOPE and FEAR: the audience HOPES that things will turn out well for the people they care about, and FEAR that things will turn out badly.  Thus, the audience stays in their seats waiting to see how things turn out in the end.

With that in mind, even at this early stage of hashing out a story, writers should think about why the audience should have some EMPATHY for their protagonists.  How does the story present problems, ordeals, and CHOICES to the protagonist so that the audience cares about what will happen later?  How does the story make the audience imagine and dread bad outcomes, while hoping for good ones?

When I talk to script readers, producers, and judges in screenplay contests, they all say that most scripts fail because of two things.  Either we don't care about the characters (EMPATHY,) or the story lacks TENSION, or both.  It's a good idea to start thinking about these questions now.

Screenplay Structure

In future classes, we will go over screenplay structure in a more detailed way. We will consider Frank Daniel's Sequence Approach, as well as other templates. However, at this point in the process, an over-emphasis on act breaks, reversals, culminations and climaxes can lead to weak plots and poor characterization... as well as a lot of anxiety.  It's better, for now, to look at structure more loosely.

Ultimately structure is something that emerges from the process of telling, retelling and revising your story over and over and over again.

Think of it this way: all writing manuals and screenplay instructors can offer are maps, but the maps are not the territory.  A screenplay is not something that you engineer according to rules or even principles. Your story is something that you discover, like an archaeologist searching for an ancient long-buried city. The maps give you some idea of where the ruins are buried, but you won't really know the structure until you start digging.  As you dig, you may change your mind about what you find.  What you thought was a central square could turn out to be an inner sanctum.  What you thought was the city gates may turn out to be the entrance to a temple.  Storytelling is not so much a process of creation as it is one of discovery.

Even The Hero's Journey or Monomyth, touted by screenplay guru's as the mystical template of all stories, will only give you a hazy abstract notion of the shape of your particular story.  As I've argued in the past, Real Myths are Weird.

Character and World

Students left this week's class class with a Glossary of Screenwriting Terms, a list of  Recommended Books, Blogs, and Online Resources and a synopsis of Story Structure.  (click on the links to check these out yourself.)

Each student is now writing a 1-2 page Character Monologue or an Exploration of World.  Here are two examples of this exercise written by my students in the past.  The first is a wonderfully detailed description of a Taiwanese Hospital:  The World.  The other is a vivid monologue of a potential protagonist: Monologue. Notice how Lulu tells her story and the writer explores the character's voice, relationships, conflicts, and attitude.

These exercises underscore two different ways of exploring your story: inside out and outside in.  Actors who work "inside out" are generally start with emotions, senses and psychology- Method Acting - and work out.  Actors who work "outside in" begin with the expressions of the body, external details of character, and script analysis - Classical Acting - and work in.

Screenwriters are similar in that some of them seem to start with CHARACTER - emotions, situations and conflicts- and work out, to discover plot and structure. While others start with the WORLD -  the external circumstances and story structure - and then work in, to find the life of their characters.  No one way is "better" than the other, and there is nothing wrong with doing both.

Class Teaching Assistant

Lastly, I'd like to introduce my talented teaching assistant, Levin Menekse, who is primarily responsible for writing the glossary definitions, and will be writing guest blogs throughout the semester.  He hails from Turkey, reveres the writing of David Foster Wallace and the filmmaking of P.T. Anderson, and writes brilliant and mysterious screenplays.  He was singled out as "most likely to be a screenwriting professor" among graduate students at USC.

Click Here to go on to WEEK THREE:The Treatment.

I write this blog in order to connect with intelligent, ambitious, and creative people. If you leave a comment, you will inspire me to write more. If you liked the article, please share it.

Writing The Feature Script: Week One - OVERVIEW

For the next 15 weeks I will be teaching "Writing The Feature script" at USC's School of Cinematic Arts.  Week by week I will be writing blog articles about each topic that we discuss in class.  My hope is that beginning screenwriters, working screenwriters in writing groups, and screenwriting professors might benefit from "auditing" my class online.

On Tuesday of this week, I began the first class by pointing at the elephant in the room.  Only the weekend before The Legend of Hercules opened to scathing reviews and a score on Rotten Tomatoes of 2%.  Those students who had checked out my other credits on the Internet Movie Database had seen other dubious titles like Conan the Barbarian and Halloween: Resurrection.  Why would anyone want to take a class taught by a screenwriter best known for a viral posting called What's It Like To Have Your Film Flop At The Box Office? 

As it turns out, I'm a much better writer than my credits would suggest (trolls may begin mocking and sniping here) but that's not my point.  Most of what it takes to write a successful film (talent, hard work, self-delusion, and truckloads of good luck) can't be taught in the classroom.  What I teach, to the best of my ability, is a process by which students can discover their own voice and improve the quality of their own stories through a cycle of ongoing retelling and revision.

In other words, the class isn't about me.  Having written some two dozen projects for film and television, I can offer advice about the industry and about what standard students must meet in order to be "professional."  However, the class is about  the students' work, and about introducing them to tools to put their vision on paper.  I share these concepts both in class and online in the hopes that I can help someone out there - someone with talent, passion, and the necessary self-delusion - to make a truly great film.  

You can read about some of the concepts I will emphasize in the class here: This Is What A Rewrite Looks Like.

For what it's worth, my class gets pretty stellar student reviews.   If there were a Rotten Tomatoes for screenwriting courses, I'd get a 98%.  I've heard that one of the best-screenwriting-courses-ever at UCLA is taught by a guy credited on Battlefield Earth.  Go figure.

You can read about Week Two here: FINDING THE STORY

Here is the syllabus for the course...

School of Cinematic Arts

Writing Division

CTWR 533a: Writing The Feature Script

Instructor: Sean Hood

Class Schedule: 4:00-6:50pm  Tuesday

Office Hours: By appointment – preferably Tuesday afternoon before class.

Email Address: genrehacks@gmail.com

Course Objective:

The objective of this course is to learn the craft of screenwriting, to develop it through pitches and treatments, to hone it by generating and receiving notes, and to apply it by completing a first draft of an original screenplay.

Course Description:

Amateur screenwriters and “how-to” screenwriting manuals are commonplace in Hollywood.  This course is designed to give students the tools to approach the screenwriting process from the perspective of a professional filmmaker and to face the challenge with both confidence and creativity.

The class will lead students step-by-step through the creation of an original feature script, moving from broad discussions of the author’s story, to a more detailed beat sheet, and finally to the sequence by sequence writing of the first draft.  Our emphasis will be on story and character fundamentals.  Issues of originality and “personal voice” will be balanced with those of professionalism and process.

This course will not only help students to write scripts, it will allow them to practice skills of analysis, discussion and presentation they will need in future projects throughout their professional careers. With this in mind, students will be expected to participate in all discussions and to help their fellow students develop their outlines and screenplays, “working on their feet.”

Ultimately, each student is required to complete a feature screenplay by the end of the semester.  The final script must be at least 100 pages in length and have a completed third act. It must display both character development and a basic understanding of the screenplay elements discussed in class.

Since each screenplay offers unique challenges for each writer, the instructor will take into account the progress of each student on an individual basis.

Course Reading:

Students will be required to read each other’s weekly assignments. Because of the sheer volume of this material as well as the time and care taken in its analysis, additional required reading will be minimal.

Weekly selections from screenwriting books and articles written by the instructor that pertain to the class will be made available to students online.

Assignment and Deadlines:

The WRITING ASSIGNMENTS will be due by MIDNIGHT SUNDAY previous to each class. This is a firm deadline and the late delivery of assignments will impact your grade for the course. If you finish the work earlier, please send it in.

You’ll be expected to come to class having finished typed NOTES on your colleagues’ pages for class discussion. Please deliver your notes to each respective writer (and to the instructor) TUESDAY, after class.

If students run into conflicts with shooting schedules or professional obligations, and they cannot meet a particular deadline, they can consult the professor no later than the Monday before the deadline.  As in professional situations, adjustments to deadlines can sometimes be made if the student plans a week or two in advance.

Grading Criteria:

Grading will depend on the quality and ambition of student’s written work and in-class presentations, as well as the student’s involvement in discussions of other’s work.

The course aims to prepare students to be working professionals. With that in mind grading will reflect the standards and expectations students can expect to encounter in the “real world.” So, all assignments must be submitted on time. Students must attend all classes, arriving on time. Students who cannot make a class or complete an assignment must contact the professor via email or through the front office before they miss a class or fail to complete an assignment.

When judging a screenwriter’s work, industry professionals often ask if a writer can “deliver.” Professional work is “delivered” on-time, proofread, and carefully thought out. Slip-shod or hurried work is rarely tolerated. So in determining a final grade, hard work and professionalism will be as important as originality and skill.

Likewise, working as a professional requires the skills of collaboration and communication. So as they would be in any story meeting in the entertainment industry, students are expected to be involved in each and every discussion. Failing to read the other students’ material or work on the other students’ ideas will affect the final grade. 

Specific areas that will be considered in determining a final grade are:

• Classroom Participation – 5%
• Written Feedback (Notes) – 5%
• Treatment/Beat Sheet – 10%
• Classroom Presentation (Pitch) - 10%
• Bi-Weekly Revised Pages – (10% each) 40%
• Final polished screenplay – 30%

Class Schedule

 Week 1 – Tuesday, January 14

·         Lecture - Overview of Class

o   Review of Syllabus.

o   Discussion of class goals.

o   Giving and receiving professional feedback (notes.)

o   Screenplay Terms

o   Introductions

Assignment Due – Sunday, January 19, Midnight

Each student will write down their ideas for a feature screenplay and why they are uniquely suited to tell these stories. The document should be 1-2 pages. Up to 3 ideas are allowed.

Week 2  – Tuesday, January 21

·         Lecture: Introduction to three act structure.

·         Discussion on the World of the Story and the Protagonist.

·         Class discussion on the screenplay ideas submitted on January 19.

Assignment Due – Sunday, January 26, Midnight

·         Students will write an exploration of the World they are setting their story in or a monologue/letter from their main character’s point of view. 2 to 3 pages.

Week 3  – Tuesday, January 28

·         Lecture: How to create a Treatment or Beat Sheet.

Assignment Due – Sunday, February 2, Midnight

·         GROUP A delivers a 2-3 page Beat Sheet or Treatment.

·         Each student in GROUP A makes an Appointment With The Professor to discuss his/her Beat Sheet or Treatment.

Week 4 - Tuesday, February 4

·         Lecture: Pitching

·         Lecture: Using index cards, character trees and other tools to create a map of primary characters, relationships, and arcs.

·         Class discussion: Breaking Story. Deliver written notes on GROUP A Beat Sheets.

Assignment Due – Sunday, February 9, Midnight

·         GROUP B delivers a 2-3 page Beat Sheet or Treatment.

·         Each student in GROUP B makes an Appointment With The Professor to discuss his/her Beat Sheet or Treatment.

·         Group A prepares for Oral Presentation (pitch.)

Week 5 - Tuesday, February 11

·         GROUP A gives Oral Presentations (i.e. each give a 20 minute pitch) to the class.

·         GROUP A presents the class with a Revised Beat Sheet.

·         Class discussion/feedback on GROUP A pitches and Beat Sheets.

·         Deliver written notes on GROUP B Beat Sheets.

Assignment Due – Sunday, February 16, Midnight

·         GROUP A begins writing their first two sequences.

·         Group B prepares for Oral Presentation (pitch.)

Week 6 - Tuesday, February 18

·         GROUP B gives oral presentations (i.e. each give a 15 minute pitch) to the class.

·         GROUP B presents the class with a Revised Beat Sheet.

·         Class discussion/feedback on GROUP B pitches and Beat Sheets.

Assignment Due – Sunday, February 23, Midnight

·         GROUP B begins writing their first two sequences.

·         GROUP A delivers Sequences One and Two (The first Act)

Week 7 - Tuesday, February 25     

·         Lecture: Excavating Structure. How to be open to discoveries during the writing process. The concept of “theme”.

·         Discussion and analysis of GROUP A’s work.  Deliver written notes.

Assignment Due – Sunday, March 2, Midnight

·         GROUP B delivers Sequences One and Two (The first Act)

Week 8 - Tuesday, March 4

·         Lecture: The “Mid-Point” and the “Mid-Point Shift”.

·         Discussion and analysis of GROUP B’s work. Deliver written notes.

Assignment Due – Sunday, March 9, Midnight

·         GROUP A delivers revised Sequences Three and Four (up to the Midpoint)

Week 9 - Tuesday, March 11          

·         Lecture: How to clear the Big Hurdle that is the second half of the second act.

·         Discussion and analysis of GROUP A’s work. Deliver written notes.

SPRING BREAK

Assignment Due – Sunday, March 23, Midnight

·         GROUP B delivers revised Sequences Three and Four (up to the Midpoint)

Week 10 - Tuesday, March 25        

·         Lecture: Discussion on “Culmination” -- the End of the Second Act.

·         Discussion and analysis of GROUP B’s work. Deliver written notes.

Assignment Due – Sunday, March 30, Midnight

·         GROUP A delivers revised Sequences Five and Six (Complete Second Act)

Week 11 - Tuesday, April 1

·         Lecture: How to prepare the audience for the 3^rd Act.

·         Discussion and analysis of GROUP A’s work. Deliver written notes.

Assignment Due – Sunday, April 6, Midnight

·         GROUP B delivers revised Sequences Five and Six (Complete Second Act)

Week 12 - Tuesday, April 8

·         Lecture: The Final Act. Audience expectations. The concept of a “satisfying story”.

·         Discussion and analysis of GROUP B’s work. Deliver written notes.

Assignment Due – Sunday, April 13, Midnight

·         GROUP A delivers revised Sequences Seven and Eight (The Third Act)

Week 13 - Tuesday, April 15

·         Lecture: A second look at “Theme” and the “Main Question” of your story.

·         Discussion and analysis of GROUP A’s work. Deliver written notes.

Assignment Due – Sunday, April 20, Midnight

·         GROUP B delivers revised Sequences Seven and Eight  (The Third Act)

Week 14 -  Tuesday, April 22

·         Lecture: Strategies and tools for the Polish.

·         Discussion and analysis of GROUP B’s work. Deliver written notes.

Assignment Due – Sunday, April 27, Midnight

·         Commence polishing the Revised Draft.

·         Students who are behind may deliver final sequences for feedback.

Week 15 – Tuesday, April 29

·         Discussion on the Polished Pages, Late Sequences and Lingering Story Problems

Week 16 - Optional Class – Friday, May 6

·         Final discussions, notes and encouragement. (Class Lunch)

FINAL ASSIGNMENT DUE – Sunday, May 11, Midnight

As a final assignment and for the determination of a final grade students must deliver to the professor a complete revised and polished screenplay.

This final draft must include the various discussed in class, completed character arcs, and a completed third act. The quality of the scripts will be evaluated in context of the goals set by the writer earlier in the semester.

The final draft, in terms of professionalism and polish, should be suitable for submission to a producer, agency, studio, actor or independent financier.

I write this blog in order to connect with intelligent, ambitious, and creative people. If you leave a comment, you will inspire me to write more. If you liked the article, please share it.