Wait, don't jump.
Think for a second.
Your job is to write stories that make utterly ridiculous and implausible fantasies appear real. You've gotten really good at it. So good that right now your using the same tools of your imaginative craft to tell yourself a story about yourself. In fact, you've told so it so well that your ridiculous and implausible story about victimization, inauthenticity, and failure actually seems real.
It's all cheap special effects, formulaic plot twists, and cliches cribbed from Save The Cat.
Step back, be your own best studio executive and demand a rewrite.
It's a movie in your head. It's not your life.